Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Legend of Uncle Nemesis and when Gabbar Singh came in Lungi....




When he shouts, his voice soars like a hungry hawk, making echos in his area

When he raises his hand, the chaos would suddenly organize itself.

When he dons those black glasses, mankind will get justice.

And when he lifts his Lungi, the Earth under it is going to shake the world apart.

Enter Uncle Nemesis.

The protector of a hapless film crew.

The self-appointed guardian of public morality on how to behave when a Star actor is around

The defender of the 'outsiders' in a city like Mumbai


The Man who could easily give Quick Gun Murugan and Bappi Lahiri a complex with his combination of style, substance and sophistication.


I hereby take an opportunity to introduce him.

Shooting at real locations is always tough, especially in a crowded city like Mumbai. So, when the locales came to know that a film shooting with a Big bollywood superstar is going to happen at their Port area, they as usual went berserk. As the military conquest by the Vanity Vans started in the area, people started pouring out in huge numbers. The Film shoot security staff found themselves helpless in front of such a huge number, unable to take control over the situation they were threatened by such an outpour. The Mass was literally out on roads, a few were hanging from their roofs, some were perched on trees and some taking the best available positions for viewing, whatever the corners or support available. Nobody in the film production unit had the clue about how will they pull the shoot off. The Mumbai police constables had conveniently parked their vehicle in a corner and were waiting for the superstar to come. They had no particular interest in controlling the people or the crowd there. They were literally as they are shown in the movies - lethargic and waiting for some free lunches.

Suddenly the Production Manager spotted an avuncular figure amongst the crowd who was making way for himself in the frontline, so that he can be the first to see the Bollywood star, when he comes.

The figure was an Uncle who was dressed in a white shirt, Blue checkered lungi and was wearing dark glasses. His teeth were ultra-stained, his dark fingers were covered with long gold rings and he was armed with a black Umbrella, which he considered his style statement. He shouted something in Tamil and the roaring crowd came to a silence. When he raised his Umbrella, the kids started running helter-skelter, the unemployed & loitering youth checked their catcalls & whistles, the women grouped themselves together, the men made way for him and the chaos came to an abrupt end. The Uncle shouted again and everyone froze. His voice created an echo in that area and came back three to four times. Like the mazda of an army, like the seasoned warrior of the Mughal Empire and like the batsmen who scored a century at Lords - he raised his Umbrella - waves of hush-hush followed.

The Production manager was quick to spot his ability. Without wasting a second, he offered the Uncle some money and food, the Uncle assured him the rest will be taken care of, like in the Movies.

The Shoot was about to begin now. People were as quiet as the school children who have just noticed a long cane in the hands of their teacher. As soon as the Star walked out of his Vanity Van, suddenly the Avatar of Uncle Nemesis changed, he himslef became a kid -

"Won Photto...pleaz...Won Photto....with Sarr.."

The Production Manager allowed and the shoot went on smoothly. Impressed with his abilities even I asked him if he could oblige me for a photo with him. He smiled and posed.

Uncle, you were the real superstar for me that day. The star could be there coz you were around.


Thank You Uncle Nemesis.

You saved our day.





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