Don't Remember the last time I posted a blog.
Its so amazing that today morning, as I woke up, I realized - actually I don't remember the last time I had a cup of tea in my hand and stared outside my top floor window and one of my long lost 80s hindi film song playing in the background.
Ye peenaa bhi koi peenaa hai
peenaa hai to munh se lagaakar botal se peene.. de daaruu
But just as I stare outside my window, hear the birds chirping, taking the first sip of self-made tea, a huge bunch of press and media-persons are waiting. Jaise mujhe noch noch ke khaa jaayenge. Aa teri toh..
Bade dino ke baad mili hai yeh daru...O mere bhaiyaa..De daaru...
One of the press-media person shouts from below. 'Kya bola, Kya bola be tu...I don't remember the last time I had a cup of tea in my hand huh? aur aage kya bola....'and stared outside my ...kya...top floor window. aah? Now that's a controversial statement son'
Cut to the hungry mad dogs going crazy over a piece of meat. "Ok, Ok Bhaaisaab, do you mean to say, that you have been so busy that you have not got the time, in a way trying to tell us...oh look at me, look at me...I am Mr. Busy...I am Mr. Busy...Huttt teri toh...you pseudo...
Hello..listen listen..please let me explain ...hello..yes..I am replying. PLEASSE!
Now silence, the video cameras still rolling.
'I dont know how busy is being busy. But the idea of not able to get a proper sleep is what I think being busy is...where the mind doesnt stop. Now how cruel that can be to someone. And it is this state that wont allow you to indulge in pure pleasures like blog writing. Even if you do write, it will be for the movies that you want to write and why give away a nice idea just like that on blog. On hearing this a press-media person does a Gabbar Singh:
'Haak Thoooo...'
I continue to explain.
But today I got that 12 hours of sleep without even waking up once in between. Now that's an achievement.
The press goes wild, dont know why...maybe on hearing the word 'achievement'. Do hell with what it measures to, but word mein dumm hai: 'Achievement'. Lets start taking photographs on seeing that elusive smile. Must be some great achievement. Press 1 whispers in Press 2's ears: 'He said sleeping 12 hours as an achievement'. The Press 2 guy realizes, tells his photographer: abbey ruk jaa yaar. The Gabbar singh of them doesnt even bother to click. Still keeps staring. As if more garbage is going to come out of my mouth.
Yes, I wake up in the morning and rush to work, not necessarily I have to get out of my home to work always. Sometimes going from my bed to the table is going to work. A distance of 0.5 meters.
Hum sokar hosh mein aaye hain.
Haan...ab hum josh mein aaye hain..
Paani mein aag milaayi hai...
Kuch baat samamjh mein aayi hai...
Aiyo Amma...
And at times work is - cutting across all the geography of the city by the sea. But making sure, you see the sea once. Otherwise there is no point in being in this city. Might as well slog somewhere in North and drive a car and be confident of yourself even when you dont need to be. Work in this city also means - often meeting my most favourite friend -local trains, jumping Best Buses and haggling with the conductor for change, also not to forget - pleading the Auto-wallahs - 'bhai saab ghar chhod do...biwi meri intezaar kar rahi hogi...'
Mastii ab hass kar bolegi
Ab gori ghunghat kholegi
Vo haath kisi ke pade nahiii
hum bade dino se lade nahiii...
arre aaj kisiko maarenge ye daru....
But hey I am not that busy. I do not forget to check facebook. I keep in touch with friends. I wish them on their birthdays.
The press is impressed. Stunned Silence. Murmurs. 'wow he checks facebook too'.
'Baijuu bhaiyaa ki Jaiiiiii'
Gabbar Singh of them responds: 'Ehsaan kar diya duniya pe...Going back to your first statement. Actually I don't remember the last time I had a cup of tea in my hand and stared outside my top floor window. Top floor window..uh? See tu apne baare mein jhaad raha hai..top floor window....??
Sab bhed bharam khool jaayenge...
Sab kaanton pe tul jaayenge..
Hum bure sahi par achche hain
Kyunkii hum dil ke sachche hain..
Arrey Jhooth kahe toh Jaan humari le Daru...De daru de daru...
Bade dino ke baad mili hai...
Thats the problem, do saal pehle ki duniya mein hum blog likhte, apna opinion, apni bhadaas, apni bakwaas nikaal dete thhe, toh chal jaata tha. Ab kuch bhi bolne, likhne pe do baar sochna pad raha hai. Chal haan bola Top floor...Yes, top floor, a building without a lift and a top floor...now that's a smart decision. Samjha? It keeps you healthy, wealthy and wise. (wealthy..how? Because a top floor in a without lift building in this city allows you to stay in the area where you want to and within the budget that you can afford...so bring on...that wind that comes the sea and touches you first. Ab chaahe kitni bhi garmi kyun na ho...lad lenge...
Never has this famous idiom made more sense to me:
Lagta hai iska top floor khaaali hai?
Kya baat kar rahe ho? khaali hai? Mujhe chahiye please. Kitna rent lagega?
Johnny bhaiyaa ki Jaiiiiii...
One peg two peg three peg four peg
Ri ba ba ba...Ribabababa....
hum peg peekar hosh men aaye hain
Will soon start posting some more serious stuff. (but hey this was serious too). I guess the smaller ideas from facebook and twitter have to make way to the blog now.
Vo haath kisii ke pade nahiin
ham bade dinon se lade nahiin
Arre aaj kisii ko maarenge de daaruu
Arre detaa jaa daaruu re
o mere bhaiyaa de daaruu
The press media goes back, 'koi masala mila he nahi...saala faaltu bakchodi karne aaya tha...'
and I go to re-heat my tea. Wait I will make another one. Aaj thoda time hai. The song in the background changes to another 80s gem:
katra katra milti hai
katra katra jeene do
zindagi hai, behne do
pyaasi hoon main pyaasi rahne do
For people who want to know what that Daru song was:
